She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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