Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
