Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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