The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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