i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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