Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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