Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
