I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have tasted many bathrooms
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
