'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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