What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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