I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
