i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
