You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
