i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
