Where are you?
In a non slutty way
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
