ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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