Acid is not a monday night drug
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
