i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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