O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
