it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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