what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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