Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
this will be a night to untag.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
