Having a random hookup so left but love u
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
