Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
