I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
