I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
