dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
