Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
