When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
