we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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