I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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