I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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