I heard we made out
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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