alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
