you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
