He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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