You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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