I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
