i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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