i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Dear god my vagina.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
