We're facebook friends in real life
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
