Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
