He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
