He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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