You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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