saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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