my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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