everyone is single if you try hard enough
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
