first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
