I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
